Walking Each Other Home

Making a Difference in a Beautiful Way

Ram Dass says that “We’re all just walking each other home.” Why do these words touch something deep? Why do many of us get a prickly sensation behind the eyes and want to cry?

I figure it’s due to feeling alone and disconnected from ourselves and each other. Unhealthy levels of stress make it easy to get lost in our own little worlds, to become self-absorbed and shielded from each other’s suffering. Given the pain and injustice in the world, it is understandable. Ram Dass’s words touch deep because they arouse the sense of belonging, acceptance and unconditional love we all long for. (If personal stories appeal to you, please keep reading.)

A common expression is “home is where the heart is.” I think of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. She had to get home, and when she did, she was blown away by how much the place mattered. In amazement she said, “There’s no place like home.” Home is where we can love, be loved and belong. Home is the heart, and that’s exactly what we need–to get home to our hearts.

We are all in this thing called life together. Let’s make planet earth a safe and happy place for everyone.

He Couldn’t See Until…

A gigantic part of walking each other home is actually see-ing. Here’s a fellow locked in his own wee world who realizes how unseeing he is. I think we can all relate at some time or other. Yes?

The filters of this fellow are pretty obvious, and judgement-based too—“I’m a victim,” “he’s a loser,” etc. What are filters? They’re like the glasses (that we don’t even know we’re wearing) through which we see the world. We believe that how we see things is the way things are, the truth, and “why can’t those other people see properly?” Until we “GET IT”–get conscious; that is, realize that we have filters and know just what they are–we’re in trouble. 

Being Seen

No judgement and no pretend…

Being seen is one of humanity’s greatest needs. It’s a spiritual need, vital (as in life-giving). Whether we admit it or not, we’re all starving for at least one person to see us for the beautiful person we are inside, past personality and past protective layers. With no judgement from them and no pretend from us, it’s an acknowledgement of our shared humanity. Being truly seen can be a beautiful, humbling, even poignant experience, and it can affect the one doing the seeing as well as the one being seen.

[Remember the 2009 movie “Avatar”? The greeting of the Navi people was “I see you,” which meant “I see me through your eyes.” And many of us have heard the term namasté used, perhaps in a yoga class. Namasté is a gesture of respect and gratitude, meaning “I bow to the divine in you.”]

Try This

Before I get into personal stories…

In view of the fact that most people have a hard time seeing and accepting themselves (the best place to start), here’s a little exercise we can all do daily. To nurture self-appreciation and love: Look at yourself in the mirror, right into your eyes. Look, do not turn away. Consider way back when, when you entered the world a tiny, innocent, precious little being. When you look into your eyes, you’re looking into that baby’s eyes–the same eyes. Deep in your heart, you are the same innocent, precious, timeless being, and that being is saying “please love me.” Can you do this? How about giving it a try right now? (You may need a box of tissues.) Taking the time to see and accept yourself is the greatest gift you can give–to yourself and to the entire planet.

Personal Stories

When a Stranger Helped to Save My Life

Over 30 years ago I was viciously verbally assaulted by “a friend,” a man I did work with in a mainstream church. Knowing he was projecting all his own crap onto me didn’t take away the shock, hurt and betrayal. When I saw him next, he “twisted” the knife by pretending nothing had happened. When I gently alluded to the incident (gently as I was scared), he played dumb. “What incident?” Then he launched into an even more vicious tirade. Walking home from that second encounter, a stranger walking the other way looked at me and smiled. That was it, maybe 2 seconds it took, but it was enough to help me breathe. His look said, “You’re okay. You’re someone worth smiling at!” To this day, I can still draw on that memory when I am feeling horrible. (I told this story in more detail in my blog “Are There Angels Among Us?”)

“Into Me-See”

Another personal story: One day, again over 30 years ago, I was in my doctor’s office, anxious out-of-my-mind about my mother’s brain disease. Prognosis was wide open: she might never regain consciousness and die, recover but have virtually no brain left, recover completely, or recover somewhere in between. My doctor (bless his beautiful heart) understood. He looked at me and said four little words I have never forgotten: “Be gentle with yourself.” Through his eyes, it was like I could see into my own heart and soul. Here we were, one human to another. It was a moment of intimacy, as in “into-me-see.” It was profound.

Jumping in Front of Cars

It’s sad to consider how many people never experience being seen in their entire lives; how many journey through life feeling invisible. The result is a lack of real self-worth and a whole lot of pain. This story is not about me personally, it’s about a young man I once met. He told me matter-of-factly that he jumped in front of cars. “Why?” I asked. He replied: “If the driver sees me, then I know I’m here. If he doesn’t, well, who cares?” Perhaps an extreme example, but ask yourself: Who among us doesn’t long to be seen?

It’s Time to Consciously Remind Ourselves

Walking each other home is about being what I’ll call a “human human.” It’s taking time to care about each other, to recognize and accept each other for the beautiful soul each of us is in essence.

Given all that threatens life and the sustainability of our planet, isn’t it imperative to reconnect with the heart and soul of our humanity? Or to, as Marianne Williamson’s book title says, “Return to Love”?

When did seeing or being seen by another make a difference in your life? How about sharing your story? Also, as regards the video, did you “get it”? What did you think/how did you feel about it? I’d love to hear from you! The comments section is below.

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