stop-sign-oak-bay-bc-take-a-breath

Anxiety

To be human is to feel anxious at times; sometimes, a lot of the time. Like these days of covid-19 with a world turned upside down. If some tell you they are not affected, maybe it’s true and that’s truly great for them. Or it’s possible they’re in denial, a common state for some until they clue in to their increased irritability, exhaustion, rapidly beating heart, shakiness and so on.

I’ve had spells where it’s like an elephant is sitting on my chest and I “can’t get air.” Then my throat tightens and my head goes into a swirly daze. “Oh no, I’ve got IT!” A few hours later, those “symptoms” are gone. It’s crazy and scary, and I’m grateful it’s not happened often. Have you experienced anything similar? Mental health really does matter.

Anxiety rests on uncertainty, a fear of what will be. Like loss and more loss? Hopes and dreams up in smoke? In this forced “time-out” (which in and of itself can be a blessing), it’s easy for unresolved past issues to surface and haunt.

For some, addictive tendencies go wild; for others, boredom and a feeling of having no use squeeze tight, and with time on their hands, they notice themselves doing a lot of nothing. And then there’s the social distancing, polarized politics and frightening social behaviour broadcast for all to see (if we choose to expose ourselves), and the contradictory health advice, and the questionable media and the sharing and counter-sharing on social media and…Enough already!

The Stop Sign

When I saw the above stop sign the other day, I thought, “how fitting.”  There’s been so much “stoppage” in our lives, and how appropriate to be reminded to breathe. A sure sign of undue stress and anxiety (and its extreme form, panic) is the sensation of not being able to get enough oxygen.

However:
The problem is not, as the sign suggests, that we need to “take a breath.”
The problem is that we are holding onto our breaths then barely letting them go.

Although breathing is an autonomic function, meaning it happens automatically and “beyond our control,” it is a function that does allow us some measure of control. This is immensely good news. Breathing well helps us feel better, more in charge, more at peace.

We’ve Got to be Able to Let Go

Holding on feeds fear by activating our sympathetic nervous system (anything but “sympathetic”). This is the fight, flight, freeze impulse from our limbic brain. Hyper vigilant to perceived threat and intent on keeping us alive, the limbic brain signals our adrenals to secrete hormones such as cortisol to empower us to escape or hide from danger, like the car coming straight at us or the intruder in our homes at night.

Once the danger passes, we should be able to breathe normally again. That’s especially hard, though, when the accustomed rhythm of our lives has been disrupted. If the feeling of danger does not pass, we get stuck. It’s exhausting. Check yourself right now by consciously sighing. Have you been holding your breath without realizing it?

Remember:
When we inhale, we naturally tense (“get a grip”)
When we exhale, we naturally relax.

Exhaling feels dangerous, like maybe the enemy will hear? To exhale feels downright counter-intuitive. But we’ve got to let go. Breathing exercises that get us mindfully exhaling allow us to regain a more balanced sense of control and help us calm down. We need to engage our para-sympathetic nervous system. With mindful breathing (and it may take a fair bit of practice), it’s possible to enjoy the deliciousness of such natural hormones as oxytocin, aka the loving hormone. It’s a chemical thing.

Breathing to Relax 

In preparing to write this blog, I watched an excellent video by anxiety and panic specialist David Carbonell. He put a smile on my face, especially when he demonstrated chest vs belly breathing! Please do watch. Below I’ll add some notes and a meme you might find helpful (and fun) to use.

  1. Stand, sit or lie down. Put one hand on your tummy and one hand on your chest.
  2. Sigh to relax neck and shoulders. Keep your shoulders down.
  3. Draw air in slowly through your nose into your belly. Pretend your belly is a balloon you’re blowing up.
  4. Exhale through your mouth slowly, longer than your inhale. Tummy should fall, like the balloon is deflating.
  5. Repeat.
  6. (There’s controversy about whether to pause between breaths or not. You choose.)

Remember, “Up and down is bad; out and in is good.”

Follow Along with Me!

Want to adjust the speed? Easy. After you click the arrow to play, click the setting “wheel” right beside the word YouTube at the bottom of the video. Then click “playback speed.” Adjust. (Sorry there’s no music.)

Before I Say “Bye for Now”

Do you find that mindful breathing helps? Perhaps you have suggestions for relaxation you could share? We’d love to hear from you! Let us know how you’re doing. Please share in the comments section below. Incidentally, I will reply to every comment left, so please check the box beside “Notify me of follow-up comments by email” if you’d like to see my response.

Please take good care of yourself and remember to breathe in, and then let it all out.